4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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