He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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