Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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