you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
