Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
