worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
