He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Randomize
