Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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