Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
