Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We got so high we made milksteak
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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