Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
