he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
