Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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