??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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