Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
