you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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