I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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