also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
