I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize