it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My breasts were aching with rage.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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