He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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