she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
