operation harelip BJ is a go
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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