Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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