I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
