hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
