but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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