You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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