everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize