I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it's great music for shaving your balls
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
