That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
