A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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