you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
