I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize