im about as happy as oj after his trial
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
