worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I would fuck him just for his dog
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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