She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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