i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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