She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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