WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My vagina is officially offended.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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