Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
