Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
