Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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