Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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