I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
