If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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