its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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