I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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