quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
time to smoke my breakfast
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
this is an emotional support booty call
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize