Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
