Plan B is the new Plan A
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He better not be in your backpack
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
