They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
