And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
