Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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