hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
