One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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