Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
