I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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