Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
dude. I can hear the air.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
