Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
as a side note pls kill me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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