I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize